Criminal Instincts

April 5, 2008

Violence found a curious and unlikely expression in me...

I threatened my doctor today... with homicide...

Yeah...but there wasn't much of a hint of terror than a minor change in the setting of his eye brows. They went from severely knotted to slightly knotted... you'd think he got such agitated patients and threats everyday... but have to hand it to the man for keeping his cool and having a li'l chat with me... at the end of it, all that feeling of confused anger, guilt and violence was Justified and I finally felt good about it... Yes, good about wanting to kill somebody... violently... giving them a bloody end...bludgeoning them to death... This is a warning to everyone... DO NOT PISS ME OFF.
Of course the incident which made my 'Hulk' emerge was not a trivial one... it isn't easy to have tubes going in and out of you and keeping up a calm and relaxed countenance... I'm only human after all. Although I had turned into something other than a fully evolved human being for a period of a day or two, I'm happy I went through that... I found me telling myself that this could possibly be the worst thing to happen to me... and I don't need to fear anything... but then I realised Life has a lot more to offer, there might be worse things out there...there are...I know as a matter of fact... Anyway, I'm a slightly altered person, I'd like to believe... not better, but altered...

Although the events leading up to that afternoon were baffling enough...and I'd say, almost a fitting prologue to my out and out psychopathic killer character...

I set a woman's head on fire.
At church... yes, at the holy abode of the Mother of the Infant Messiah, my evil, evil subconscious acted up...
Note 'Subconscious'.

It was quite an innocent accident, if you'd like to believe my saying that...
Me, devoutly praying with a burning candle in my hand, eyes tightly shut in reverence did not expect anything but the Light of the Almighty, leave alone a blaze right in front of my face fueled by a woman's thick curly head of hair...
The woman in her zealous prayer had backed up a little too much, right into my candle.
but I did manage to put the fire out in between giggles , sincere apologies and bursts of laughter and save most of her locks... I half expected to be taken at task and be beaten up by the crowd but that did not stop me from enjoying and taking pleasure in the fact that I set somebody's head on fire... that's the pitchfork wielder in me... Quite a feat... Can cross THAT off my list now...

Hey, I'm sorry for the woman, and I apologize sincerely for my reckless act of candle flailing(although I held it quite straight)...but that wasn't something I planned... which blots out much of the sick sadistic glory I felt...

Now that I look at the cycle of events... Its just been sweet justice... sweet for who, I don't know... but Its been quite something...except for the woman I'm sure... Reinforcement of the maxim, As You Sow, So Shall You Reap... What Goes Around, Comes Around... Cry Me A River... and everything Justin Timberlakesque... Yes, I believe him.