Saturday, 12 July 2008

"Please! Can I Love you? Not like I'll stop loving you overnight, but I could work it slowly out of my system!

I'll love you come what may!

Even if you hate me!"

Promises of loving you forever, being there forever, holding your hand at all times... Promises... Those you believed...

But forever came too quickly...

Forever was when you didn't live up to his principles, his idea of ethics...

Forever was when you laughed at one of his delusional ideas purely out of lack of expressions or because you actually thought it was ridiculously funny...

Forever was when you disagreed...

Forever was when you were yourself...

Forever was when you weren't perfect.

Forever was too short...

A million 'forevers' in a lifetime

Heartchipped a million times, not heartbroken because you're too strong and ready to give off another chip to another disappoinment, another failure, another broken promise...

It was surreal when he appreciated the way you did things, admired who you were, heaped praises on your crappy hand-writing, criticized you and your egotistical self didn't mind, held up a mirror to you and for the first time you looked into yourself and didn't hide and slink away... Shared his secrets, his unusual ideas, talked to you about things he was passionate about with so much zest and animation... Lay his self wide open for you to look into another life...

You wouldn't believe how somebody could make you feel like the Sun of the system, how you finally found a Friend! With no prefixes or suffixes...

How you knew, how previleged you were to have this, share this relationship with another human being... not a boy or a girl, but a person...

How you hesitated, unbelievingly, searching for motive, cynically at first because this was the first time you received that much attention...

How you felt worthy, finally...

You finally stated giving in and opening up.

Because you knew it was different...

Different because it was true

And you believed everything he said like you always had and ended up with just another jolting reality of hollow words.

But you trusted this time because you knew it was different...

It Evidently wasn't...

Forever was too short and it came too quickly.

I repulse myself...

I wish I wouldn't judge judgment.

1 comment:

designed devil said...

And all you get is a slap in the face called life. "Life is like a boxa' chocolates............."

;)